Something I wrote for my English class

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Something I wrote for my English class

Post by Gautam » Tue May 01, 2007 9:56 pm

It probably has been done before...
We were to write a parody of the famous "To Be Or Not To Be" soliloquy, and , of course, I wrote about quiz bowl :)

To buzz or not to buzz: that is the question:
Whether ’tis proper in the game to suffer
The consequences of scoring an outrageous neg five,
Or to attack the barrage of easy clues,
And by buzzing, power them. To pause, to restrain–
No more – and by a restraint to say we end
The lament, and the million brain slips
That we are prone to make! ‘Tis a perfection
Devoutly to be hoped. To pause, to restrain–
To restrain – perchance to daydream: ay, there’s the impediment,
For in that reverie what thoughts may come
When we have shrugged off the simplicity of the question
Must make us pause. That is the consideration
That makes of so short a round:
For who would bear the burning pain in the future,
Another easy bonus, the opponent thirtying it,
The coach’s disappointment, the reader’s leisure,
The insolence of team-mates, and the rejection
Only capable of evil the person bears,
When he himself might keep his silence
By delegating it to somebody else? Who would bear the burden
To think hard and have a perfect record,
But that the dread of the easy bonus,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
The opponent does return, and scorns at our intelligence,
Makes us rather bear the security of a tenner,
Than pry for a power that we know not of.
Thus thinking makes a coward of us all,
And thus the original determination of twenty powers
Is made weak by the brittleness of thought,
And tossups of great value and honor ,
With this regard their thoughts run awry,
And lose the name of action. — Hark, everybody,
Another tossup! — The figure in my prayers
Be all my negs remembered.

Good/bad/comments/your own versions?

Gautam - ACF
Currently tending to the 'quizbowl hobo' persuasion.

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Post by Gonzagapuma1 » Tue May 01, 2007 10:31 pm

only dana gioia could properly analyze this.

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Post by aestheteboy » Tue May 01, 2007 11:00 pm

Gonzagapuma1 wrote:only dana gioia could properly analyze this.
Is that Ted's mom?

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Post by BuzzerZen » Tue May 01, 2007 11:20 pm

aestheteboy wrote:
Gonzagapuma1 wrote:only dana gioia could properly analyze this.
Is that Ted's mom?
His dad. He's a poet, critic, and chair of the National Endowment for the Arts.
Evan Silberman
Hampshire College 07F

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Post by First Chairman » Wed May 02, 2007 12:26 am

Heck, if the soliloquy gets you a date for prom...
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Post by swwFCqb » Wed May 02, 2007 6:10 pm

We had to do an assignment exactly like this, and I too did a version of this, titled "To buzz or not to buzz," but I don't want to discrace myself nationally by puting it on the net.

BTW, for what it's worth, yours is much better than mine :grin:
Steven Wellstead
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Mike Bentley
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Post by Mike Bentley » Wed May 02, 2007 6:33 pm

The first person who can make a packet of pryamidal tossups in rhyming couplets (presumably for use in a song) gets $5 from me.
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Post by Tegan » Thu May 03, 2007 9:01 am

ikillkenny wrote:The first person who can make a packet of pryamidal tossups in rhyming couplets (presumably for use in a song) gets $5 from me.
This year for the Octagons, I wrote a limerick toss-up that actually was a limerick:

Five anapestic lines always strum,
A short type of poem, not a ton,
You'll earn your team ten,
And a bonus again,
If you name this little Em'rald Island fun.

I feel so dirty, but I promise I did it only this one time.

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Post by naturalistic phallacy » Thu May 03, 2007 6:19 pm


You are my favorite. That is just hilarious. Someone should memorize it and perform it as a monologue for theatre.
Bernadette Spencer
University of Minnesota
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