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VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:08 am
by Mewto55555
Headed to VCU open with JL today, this will be good so I'll liveblog. From my phone so sorry for any mistakes.

edit: I should note im taking these horribly out of context, doctoring quotes etc to make it more funny

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:09 am
by Mewto55555
JL gets his torso patted down when he neglects to remove items from his shirt pocket.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:10 am
by Mewto55555
JL insists he did not neglect to remove it but it was in fact intentional. To support this, he references previous occasion where boarding pass fell in shoe and he couldn't find.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:10 am
by Mewto55555
JL looks at board, declares we are headed to gate aA11. Confidently strides toward concourse B.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:11 am
by Mewto55555
JL asks me to hand him bag of tropical mix due to it being on top shelf. Insists it was solely because I was closer.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:12 am
by Mewto55555
I go to the bathroom. Anything funny JL is doing now will be lost to history.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:24 am
by Mewto55555
I'm so awesome let me tell you about all these "paradigm shifts" I introduced to Yale Botticelli.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:28 am
by Mewto55555
The good ol days of an 09 guerrilla tournament at ict

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:45 am
by Mewto55555
Not about to spring for wifi so we will have a massive stories dump on landing.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:54 am
by UlyssesInvictus
I await with bated breath--surely we can fund a kickstarter to get Max wifi during the flight?

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:37 pm
by Mewto55555
And we're back, with JL realizing early on the flight that, for literally the first time in his life, he is wearing mismatched socks (one navy, one black, quelle horreur!)

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:42 pm
by Mewto55555
Later, I spill Coke all over. The flight attendant looks at me judgmentally and drawled "really?!" While I am leaning over and cleaning up, John gently admonishes to "keep your hair out of my cranberry juice!" Sadly, the warning comes too late as I have already grazed an ice cube.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:43 pm
by Mewto55555
I should note: the cause of the spill was excitement about a flashcard on an obscure Doris Lessing novel.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:46 pm
by Mewto55555
JL: My life dream is to be with a woman for whom I can bake French pastries.
Me: I'd eat anything you baked for me!
JL: yes, but you'd eat anything.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:53 pm
by Benin Rebirth Party
Did anyone in security, flight attendants, or other people comment on the bow tie? Is he even wearing one right now?

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:55 pm
by Mewto55555
While waiting to disembark, JL turns off airplane mode on his phone and receives an email, which I reproduce here verbatim:

"We went and saw the Elgin marbles again today

Love
Daddy"

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:56 pm
by Mewto55555
No comments on bow tie. If you have to ask if he always wears one, then you don't know John Lawrence.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:57 pm
by Mewto55555
We are now at Atlanta airport, eating five guys. We elected to share a large regular fry. My burger has lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, ketchup, and mustard. JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:01 pm
by Mewto55555
Photo attached.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:08 pm
by Auroni
Mewto55555 wrote:...JL has mayo...
Distressing.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:10 pm
by vinteuil
Not eating with a knife and fork???

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:12 pm
by Grace
Mewto55555 wrote:I'm so awesome let me tell you about all these "paradigm shifts" I introduced to Yale Botticelli.
I want to know about these too!
Mewto55555 wrote:JL: My life dream is to be with a woman for whom I can bake French pastries.
Me: I'd eat anything you baked for me!
JL: yes, but you'd eat anything.
After I ate multiple slices of John Lawrence's coconut cake last year, I told my mother that I was quitting school to become a professional food-digger, which is like a gold-digger except for food (obviously).

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:18 pm
by Mewto55555
While discussing Auroni Gupta, we finally come up with the perfect Star Wars mashup. It will be in our Tricon packet.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:20 pm
by Gautam
They say Twitter had a blowout quarter because of the people tweeting about the world cup.

All these liveblogs for CO and VCUO parties are surely making hsquizbowl the next hottest social network amirite.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:24 pm
by theMoMA
This is wonderful.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:25 pm
by Mewto55555
Auroni wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:...JL has mayo...
Distressing.
Food scientist JL, indignantly: What?! Mayonnaise is the perfect burger condiment! It's primarily a hydrophobic lipid, so a bun coated in it will repel burger juices and not get soggy! The juices emulsify at the point where the burger meets the mayo, while the bun is unharmed. C'mon, Auroni, what are you even doing your masters in?!

A few seconds later: Wait, what is he doing his masters in?

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:26 pm
by Mewto55555
vinteuil wrote:Not eating with a knife and fork???
No, though as much-more-inept liveblogger Chris Ray failed to note, he did eat nachos at the CO barbecue with utensils.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:34 pm
by Auroni
Mewto55555 wrote:
Auroni wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:...JL has mayo...
Distressing.
Food scientist JL, indignantly: What?! Mayonnaise is the perfect burger condiment! It's primarily a hydrophobic lipid, so a bun coated in it will repel burger juices and not get soggy! The juices emulsify at the point where the burger meets the mayo, while the bun is unharmed. C'mon, Auroni, what are you even doing your masters in?!

A few seconds later: Wait, what is he doing his masters in?
Equally-scientific counterpoint: when mayonnaise particles bind to receptors on the surface of taste bud cell membranes, an intracellular signaling cascade is triggered and excitatory neurons synapsing in the disgust and revulsion regions of the brain are activated.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:36 pm
by Mewto55555
On way to terminal C for next leg, we end up equidistant from both doors as they open. This prompts a five minute discussion about Buridan's ass, which only ends when we realize we should have remained in terminal D instead.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:38 pm
by Mewto55555
Our flight is leaving from gate D2 in a few hours. JL is concerned we won't be able to board, as we've both lost our eligibility.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:44 pm
by AKKOLADE
mayo on burgers is a war crime, this live blog is ok

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:10 pm
by Aaron's Rod
Mewto55555 wrote:Our flight is leaving from gate D2 in a few hours. JL is concerned we won't be able to board, as we've both lost our eligibility.
This is definitely my favorite part.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:34 pm
by hydrocephalitic listlessness
Mewto55555 wrote:JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.
The ideal burger.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:36 pm
by Mewto55555
hydrocephalitic listlessness wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.
The ideal burger.
JL: If this an unsarcastic comment, though we have not conversed, I now like him.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:46 pm
by Gautam
Does JL's laptop have a webcam? Can we install an eye-tracking script that'll record his ocular movements as he pages through the Gilt Groupe catalog on the free portion of the Delta wifi?

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:48 pm
by Mewto55555
JL is currently coaching me (at my urging) on the proper way to write this science tossup. What has this world come to?!?

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:50 pm
by Mewto55555
He also has no idea what he would be buying from Gilt Grupe.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:51 pm
by Mewto55555
Mewto55555 wrote:He also has no idea what he would be buying from Gilt Grupe.
"OH MY LORD! They do sell my preferred brand brand of bowtie really cheaply!"

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:55 pm
by Gautam
Mewto55555 wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:He also has no idea what he would be buying from Gilt Grupe.
"OH MY LORD! They do sell my preferred brand brand of bowtie really cheaply!"
JL can thank me in the form of free baked goods whenever I show within a 20-mile radius of where he is.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:00 pm
by Mewto55555
"Look at this one, that's a beauty! This sale ends in 22 hours and 2 minutes; I think I might buy one."

Sadly, the computer has been shut without purchase as we prepare to board our second flight. The science tossup is finished.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:05 pm
by Mewto55555
Overheard an announcement asking MattBo to please come to the gate d2 podium. They probably want to congratulate him on his triple crown.

Edit: apparently it was a woman whose last name was Motbo or some such.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:09 pm
by vinteuil
Mewto55555 wrote:
hydrocephalitic listlessness wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.
The ideal burger.
JL: If this an unsarcastic comment, though we have not conversed, I now like him.
This is all it takes to get John Lawrence to like me???

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:26 pm
by Mewto55555
Me: I guess my friends must just be smarter than yours, then.
JL: No, that's not possible.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:27 pm
by Mewto55555
"I should find a trash can. I just crumbled a peanut in my hand for no reason."

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:40 pm
by Mewto55555
Me: Yeah, Schindler's Lit wasn't too fantastically well-written.
JL: No. But you'll get better. And one day you'll write a CO lit. And I'll win it.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:57 pm
by Mewto55555
Left luggage at five guys had to sprint there and back I'm a buffoon. Am out of breath flight about to take off.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 5:06 pm
by at your pleasure
Mewto55555 wrote:Me: I guess my friends must just be smarter than yours, then.
JL: No, that's not possible.
I do not know whose friends I need to meet more now.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 5:28 pm
by Windows ME
Mewto55555 wrote:Our flight is leaving from gate D2 in a few hours. JL is concerned we won't be able to board, as we've both lost our eligibility.
This is the best thing ever.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 6:16 pm
by Benin Rebirth Party
Mewto55555 wrote:Overheard an announcement asking MattBo to please come to the gate d2 podium. They probably want to congratulate him on his triple crown.
He's also lost eligibility, so I presume all three of you were denied boarding, and had to take the flight from gate d1 instead.

Re: VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 6:52 pm
by Mewto55555
We've arrived at hotel and have quite the backlog of stories!