Page 2 of 3
Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:54 pm
by dxdtdemon
The murder mystery games win because there might be some actual murdering in the reality show, which would not be good to the quizbowl world.
next:
naming January after yourself
vs.
changing the term of government from four years to eight years through various loopholes, and then fixing the election subsequent to term limits so that your daughter will win
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 11:19 am
by Frater Taciturnus
quantumfootball wrote:The murder mystery games win because there might be some actual murdering in the reality show, which would not be good to the quizbowl world.
next:
naming January after yourself
vs.
changing the term of government from four years to eight years through various loopholes, and then fixing the election subsequent to term limits so that your daughter will win
January, as that is an hubristic measure of unintentional comedy. The second is just petty corruption.
NEXT:
Rap
vs
REAL Music
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 11:19 am
by Frater Taciturnus
quantumfootball wrote:The murder mystery games win because there might be some actual murdering in the reality show, which would not be good to the quizbowl world.
next:
naming January after yourself
vs.
changing the term of government from four years to eight years through various loopholes, and then fixing the election subsequent to term limits so that your daughter will win
January, as that is an hubristic measure of unintentional comedy. The second is just petty corruption.
NEXT:
Slipknot
vs
Actually talented musical preformers
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:52 pm
by ecks
dsfcaptains2005 wrote:January, as that is an hubristic measure of unintentional comedy. The second is just petty corruption.
NEXT:
Slipknot
vs
Actually talented musical preformers
Slipknot uses a time machine to cull their fan base from 2001 and sends the blundering masses to trample on the small where x = actually talented musical performers.
NEXT:
DOUBLE POSTING
vs
the apocalypse
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:21 pm
by Frater Taciturnus
ecks wrote:dsfcaptains2005 wrote:January, as that is an hubristic measure of unintentional comedy. The second is just petty corruption.
NEXT:
Slipknot
vs
Actually talented musical preformers
Slipknot uses a time machine to cull their fan base from 2001 and sends the blundering masses to trample on the small where x = actually talented musical performers.
NEXT:
DOUBLE POSTING
vs
the apocalypse
My inability to use the "edit" button brings about the apocalypse, and it and double posting fight each other to a near draw. Double post gets the win however, as it is not a concrete noun and therefore cannot be defeated or vanquished. (see: Terror)
NEXT:
veiled yet obvious references to other occurances on the board
vs.
openly ridiculing prominent occurances
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:11 pm
by dtaylor4
dsfcaptains2005 wrote:
NEXT:
veiled yet obvious references to other occurances on the board
vs.
openly ridiculing prominent occurances
The open ridicule wins easily, as it provides for more of the most memorable posts.
NEXT - FATAL 4-WAY:
banana
vs.
goat
vs.
tennis ball
vs.
Matt Weiner
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:13 pm
by Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN)
Matt Weiner owns all.
Next:
Charlie Steinhice
vs.
Good quizbowl
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:26 pm
by quizbowllee
charlieDfromNKC wrote:Matt Weiner owns all.
Next:
Charlie Steinhice
vs.
Good quizbowl
Charlie wins. Even if the college tournaments don't meet the standards of some, he keeps good high school quizbowl alive within reasonable driving distance of an area where it is normally impossible to find (North Alabama).
Good College Quiz Bowl
vs.
Good High School Quiz Bowl
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:35 pm
by No Sollositing On Premise
quizbowllee wrote:Good College Quiz Bowl
vs.
Good High School Quiz Bowl
The opposite of good college quiz bowl is CBI, and the opposite of good high school quiz bowl is some unholy combination of Chip Beall and the Florida state format that Panasonic uses. Given what I've played of those, the gap of quality between the best and worst of either age classification is much greater in high school quiz bowl. Thus, hsqb wins. I mean, what's the URL of this website, anyhow?
S. R. SIDARTH
VS.
THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:51 pm
by millionwaves
The Republicans bring out the clone army that's been hiding in a small town in the Bible Belt since Reagan's first inauguration. They proceed to march all over S.R. SIDARTH. However, just when it looks like all is lost, one of them screws up and uses a racist word. Their campaign is stopped in its tracks due to the media blitz surrounding the event.
Next:
Rommel
vs.
Lysander (the general, not Hermia's lover)
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:55 pm
by Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN)
Lysander rolls right over Rommel's Nazi ass with hardcore Greek pots.
NEXT:
Solitaire
VS.
Minesweeper.
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 8:01 pm
by rchschem
charlieDfromNKC wrote:
NEXT:
Solitaire
VS.
Minesweeper.
Solitaire.
Live and Let Die was great.
NEXT:
NewsRadio
vs.
30 Rock
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 8:47 pm
by Mike Bentley
rchschem wrote:charlieDfromNKC wrote:
NEXT:
Solitaire
VS.
Minesweeper.
Solitaire.
Live and Let Die was great.
NEXT:
NewsRadio
vs.
30 Rock
Alec Baldwin calls Andy Dick a pig, sending him back on the wagon (as if he was ever off) and completley derailing the series. Phil Hartman turns in his grave. Victory to 30 Rock.
NEXT:
Paris Hilton's Jail Sentence
VS.
Joe Francis's Jail Sentence
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 10:42 pm
by quizbowllee
ikillkenny wrote:
NEXT:
Paris Hilton's Jail Sentence
VS.
Joe Francis's Jail Sentence
Paris Hilton wins because she had a cool dog at one time. Joe Francis doesn't like dogs. He won't let them pose for him.
Smut
vs.
Porn
Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 11:11 pm
by BuzzerZen
Smut [two three four one]
Give me smut and nothing but [two three four one]
A dirty novel I can't shut [two three]
If it's uncut [two three]
And unsubt- [two three four]
Tle
NEXT MATCHUP:
PAUL WOLFOWITZ RESIGNING
vs.
AARON BURR TRYING TO FOUND HIS OWN COUNTRY
Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:13 am
by Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN)
NEXT MATCHUP:
PAUL WOLFOWITZ RESIGNING
vs.
AARON BURR TRYING TO FOUND HIS OWN COUNTRY
Aaron Burr is still one of the coolest cats ever to exist. He'd shoot Wolfowitz and win in a duel.
NEXT MATCHUP:
COMIC BOOKS
vs.
GRAPHIC NOVELS
Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 1:33 pm
by quizbowllee
charlieDfromNKC wrote:NEXT MATCHUP:
PAUL WOLFOWITZ RESIGNING
vs.
AARON BURR TRYING TO FOUND HIS OWN COUNTRY
Aaron Burr is still one of the coolest cats ever to exist. He'd shoot Wolfowitz and win in a duel.
NEXT MATCHUP:
COMIC BOOKS
vs.
GRAPHIC NOVELS
Graphic novels win, because size is everything.
Home Depot
vs.
Lowe's
Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 5:42 pm
by Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN)
quizbowllee wrote:Home Depot
vs.
Lowe's
Home Depot sponsors athletes, so HD all the way baby.
NEXT-
IT'S GOIN DOWN by Yung Joc
VS.
EVERY OTHER SINGLE THAT USES IT'S BASS RHYTHM
Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 5:53 pm
by dtaylor4
charlieDfromNKC wrote:
NEXT-
IT'S GOIN DOWN by Yung Joc
VS.
EVERY OTHER SINGLE THAT USES IT'S BASS RHYTHM
This sort of thing is prolific in rap and has been for years. Rip-offs in a thrashing.
NEXT:
RAP IN QUIZBOWL
vs.
ALL OTHER MUSIC IN QUIZBOWL
Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 1:06 am
by Irreligion in Bangladesh
DaGeneral wrote:charlieDfromNKC wrote:
NEXT-
IT'S GOIN DOWN by Yung Joc
VS.
EVERY OTHER SINGLE THAT USES IT'S BASS RHYTHM
This sort of thing is prolific in rap and has been for years. Rip-offs in a thrashing.
NEXT:
RAP IN QUIZBOWL
vs.
ALL OTHER MUSIC IN QUIZBOWL
All other music wins in a landslide due to the possibly unexpected 16-ton anvil of classical music dropped "upside" rap's head.
NEXT:
GOOGLE MAPS
vs.
MAPQUEST
Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 1:09 am
by Matt Weiner
styxman wrote:GOOGLE MAPS
vs.
MAPQUEST
Google Maps instructed teams attending the VCU high school tournament to drive through the library, while Mapquest instructed me to make a left turn through a concrete barrier while driving to a tournament at Princeton. Libraries are better than the pointless median barriers in New Jersey, so Mapquest wins.
BRUSHING YOUR TEETH
v
USING DEODORANT
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 1:34 am
by Mike Bentley
Matt Weiner wrote:styxman wrote:GOOGLE MAPS
vs.
MAPQUEST
Google Maps instructed teams attending the VCU high school tournament to drive through the library, while Mapquest instructed me to make a left turn through a concrete barrier while driving to a tournament at Princeton. Libraries are better than the pointless median barriers in New Jersey, so Mapquest wins.
BRUSHING YOUR TEETH
v
USING DEODORANT
In a close battle to the death, the deodorant only camp attempts to finish it with a bite to the brushing only's jugular. A vicious cavity suddenly leaves them wallowing in pain. Brushing camp then pokes their eyes out with toothbrushes. A stinky win for the teeth brushers.
STARCRAFT II
v
ALL OTHER VIDEOGAMES EVER CREATED
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 12:04 pm
by No Sollositing On Premise
ikillkenny wrote:STARCRAFT II
v
ALL OTHER VIDEOGAMES EVER CREATED
Every other video game ever created doesn't have Zergling rushes suddenly turn into a fleet of rolling acid bombs or that black hole thing. And the hype machine that Starcraft 2 is creating after just two days is making every other video game ever created quite jealous. SC 2 ftw. GG.
LISTENING TO EVERY INSANE CLOWN POSSE SONG EVER MADE
VS.
CHINESE WATER TORTURE
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 3:34 pm
by cvdwightw
laszlow wrote:LISTENING TO EVERY INSANE CLOWN POSSE SONG EVER MADE
VS.
CHINESE WATER TORTURE
Arkham Asylum patients perform Chinese Water Torture on their record player, then their tape player, then their CD player, then their MP3 player, thus allowing them to escape listening to the entire oeuvre of Insane Clown Posse. Chinese Water Torture wins by default.
Next, we have a special two-on-two matchup:
THAT SQUIRREL THAT JUMPED INTO MY THIRD-FLOOR DOOR ROOM THAT ONE TIME and THAT SQUIRREL THAT URINATED ON MY FRIEND THAT ONE TIME
VS.
THE SILVER SNAKES
Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 11:23 pm
by BuzzerZen
I can attest to the awesomeness of Legends of the Hidden temple, of course, but not to the ability of the Silver Snakes to fight off nature's deadliest killer. The adolescent game-show participants go down in a flurry of biting, urinating, and general scariness.
Next matchup:
VLADIMIR AND ESTRAGON
vs.
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:33 am
by vcuEvan
Ros and Guil hide in barrels to avoid pirates while Vladimir and Estragon do not move. Although they are more courageous, Estragon sounds entirely too much like Estrogen.
Tie.
EVAN SILBERMAN
vs.
DR BALTAR
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 1:19 pm
by DumbJaques
Baltar only sees one person that isn't really there. Evan's many helpful voices grant him victory.
Next:
ANDREW YAPHE PLAYING FEDERER AT TENNIS
VS.
ME PLAYING SCIENCE DOUBLES AT CO
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:18 pm
by theMoMA
DumbJaques wrote:Baltar only sees one person that isn't really there. Evan's many helpful voices grant him victory.
Next:
ANDREW YAPHE PLAYING FEDERER AT TENNIS
VS.
ME PLAYING SCIENCE DOUBLES AT CO
Is it on clay?
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:22 pm
by vcuEvan
When Chris Ray negs with Coriolis Force for Clouds, Roger Federer drops dead. Yaphe still loses to the dead Federer. A win for Chris Ray.
ROCK
vs
PAPER
vs
SCISSORS
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:30 pm
by quizbowllee
iambusyeating wrote:When Chris Ray negs with Coriolis Force for Clouds, Roger Federer drops dead. Yaphe still loses to the dead Federer. A win for Chris Ray.
ROCK
vs
PAPER
vs
SCISSORS
Rock beats scissors
Scissors beats paper
Paper beats rock.
The 3-way circle of death is broken by points per game. Rock wins. There's a lot of it around... like, in the crust and mantle and stuff. And in museums.
Heath Ledger Joker
vs.
Jack Nicholson Joker
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:45 pm
by theMoMA
iambusyeating wrote:When Chris Ray negs with Coriolis Force for Clouds, Roger Federer drops dead. Yaphe still loses to the dead Federer. A win for Chris Ray.
You didn't wait to hear if it was on clay?!? If it was, Yaphe in straight sets. Everyone knows Federer can't win on cla--
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:50 pm
by BuzzerZen
quizbowllee wrote:
Heath Ledger Joker
vs.
Jack Nicholson Joker
Jack Nicholson Joker had that freaky-upturned-lips thing going on. But Heath Ledger Joker apparently eats live kittens. Heath Ledger Joker eats Jack Nicholson Joker's hands off.
Next matchup:
ME EXPLAINING THAT HAMPSHIRE COLLEGE IS IN MASSACHUSETTS
vs.
MY FRIEND EXPLAINING THAT CORNELL COLLEGE IS IN IOWA
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 10:12 pm
by Irreligion in Bangladesh
BuzzerZen wrote:quizbowllee wrote:
Heath Ledger Joker
vs.
Jack Nicholson Joker
Jack Nicholson Joker had that freaky-upturned-lips thing going on. But Heath Ledger Joker apparently eats live kittens. Heath Ledger Joker eats Jack Nicholson Joker's hands off.
Next matchup:
ME EXPLAINING THAT HAMPSHIRE COLLEGE IS IN MASSACHUSETTS
vs.
MY FRIEND EXPLAINING THAT CORNELL COLLEGE IS IN IOWA
The Hampshire bit wins because, coming from a high school that inexplicably sends about a half-dozen to Cornell (IA) every couple years, it's a boring, boring explanation for Cornell.
NEXT:
MODEST MOUSE's WE WERE DEAD BEFORE THE SHIP EVEN SANK
vs.
WILCO's SKY BLUE SKY
vs.
THE BEATLES' BEATLES FOR SALE
vs.
RELIENT K's FIVE SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:16 pm
by cvdwightw
styxman wrote:MODEST MOUSE's WE WERE DEAD BEFORE THE SHIP EVEN SANK
vs.
WILCO's SKY BLUE SKY
vs.
THE BEATLES' BEATLES FOR SALE
vs.
RELIENT K's FIVE SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO
NAQT ICT 2006's music subdistribution comes through and clotheslines all four participants in a clean sweep. Matt Morrison's latest rap album then crushes the ICT music subdistribution. It's unclear whether there's a winner, but if there is, it's the Morrison rap album.
Next:
THE GEOGRAPHICALLY-CHALLENGED LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM
VS.
THE IDENTITY-CHALLENGED DUCKS OF ANAHEIM, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DROPPED "MIGHTY" FROM THEIR NAME
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:50 pm
by BuzzerZen
cvdwightw wrote:Next:
THE GEOGRAPHICALLY-CHALLENGED LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM
VS.
THE IDENTITY-CHALLENGED DUCKS OF ANAHEIM, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DROPPED "MIGHTY" FROM THEIR NAME
The animated characters of the bastard child of the Mighty Ducks films and Darkwing Duck reunite and use whatever super-powers it was they had to destroy the Angels, who only have that irritating movie with Danny Glover and Christopher Lloyd going for them.
next matchup:
PANASONIC APOLOGISTS
vs.
APOLOGISTS
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 2:51 pm
by Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN)
PANASONIC APOLOGISTS
vs.
APOLOGISTS
This mirrors Pat's argument about CBI:
can never win anything, ever.
Next:
PUFF DADDY
vs.
P. DIDDY
vs.
DIDDY
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 2:57 pm
by The Time Keeper
charlieDfromNKC wrote:PANASONIC APOLOGISTS
vs.
APOLOGISTS
This mirrors Pat's argument about CBI:
can never win anything, ever.
Next:
PUFF DADDY
vs.
P. DIDDY
vs.
DIDDY
Ma$e comes back from preaching about Jesus or whatever the hell he's been doing for the last decade and kills all three in a slow, uninteresting manner.
Next:
NAQT expanding their team cap 53 times only to end up creating a logistical abortion
vs.
ASCN being so incredibly terrible that they just decide to stop running it altogether.
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 4:47 pm
by Byko
Dolemite wrote:NAQT expanding their team cap 53 times only to end up creating a logistical abortion
vs.
ASCN being so incredibly terrible that they just decide to stop running it altogether.
Despite forfeiting all their credibility by literally taking the money and running, ASCN makes the 32-team playoffs that contains only 28 teams and predictably has the life squeezed out of it by NAQT's ever-growing expansions in round 1.
Next, it's the anti-American Idol battle:
WILLIAM HUNG
vs.
WESLEY WILLIS
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 4:54 pm
by Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN)
Sanjaya won.
Next:
YOUR MOM JOKES
vs.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:13 pm
by dtaylor4
charlieDfromNKC wrote:
Next:
YOUR MOM JOKES
vs.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
If Wilmer Valderrama is given the attempt to gain 'street cred' by using it, it's dead. 'That's what she said' for the win.
NEXT:
DIEGO MARADONA'S 'HAND OF GOD'
VS.
FILIPPO INZAGHI'S 'ARM OF THE POPE'
Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:30 pm
by AKKOLADE
charlieDfromNKC wrote:Sanjaya won.
THE RIGHT ANSWER IS WESLEY WILLIS
Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 2:05 am
by Mr. Kwalter
DaGeneral wrote:
NEXT:
DIEGO MARADONA'S 'HAND OF GOD'
VS.
FILIPPO INZAGHI'S 'ARM OF THE POPE'
Hand of God because God >>> Pope, I hear.
NEXT:
ORAN JUICE JONES
VS.
JUICE NEWTON
VS.
JEWS
Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 8:50 am
by Stained Diviner
Juice Newton belongs to The Tribe, and working together they are able to defeat Oran Juice in what eventually comes to be known as the Six Second War.
NAQT
VS.
PACE
Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 9:11 am
by rchschem
ReinsteinD wrote:
NAQT
VS.
PACE
Until NAQT makes its own salsa, PACE wins.
Next:
Brisco County, Jr.
VS.
Jim West
Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 3:00 pm
by First Chairman
Plus we (PACE) have our own car, our
own university, and our own general (Peter Pace)!
Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 4:25 pm
by Tegan
rchschem wrote:Next:
Brisco County, Jr.
VS.
Jim West
Brisco County Jr. only lasted a season ...... Jim West wins by a spider leg.
Spiderman 3
vs.
Batman & Robin
vs.
Superman IV : The Quest for Peace
Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 2:06 am
by The Doctor
*meekly*
I like Spiderman.
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 8:44 am
by quizbowllee
Tegan wrote:rchschem wrote:Next:
Brisco County, Jr.
VS.
Jim West
Brisco County Jr. only lasted a season ...... Jim West wins by a spider leg.
Spiderman 3
vs.
Batman & Robin
vs.
Superman IV : The Quest for Peace
Jesus! How BAD is Spiderman 3? I haven't seen it yet. It must suck to be put in that pantheon of superhero crap.
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 8:57 am
by First Chairman
Rotten Tomatoes rating for Spiderman 3 is 61%, with expert picks at 45%. Not great, but it beats Shrek 3. For the record,
Superman 4 is 11%.
Batman & Robin is 12%.
Yeah, it's no contest for Spiderman, though not as annoying as the Spiderman fan commercials for Cox Cable locally.
For most annoying animated movie character:
DONKEY
vs.
JAR-JAR BINKS
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 11:38 am
by No Sollositing On Premise
E.T. Chuck wrote:For most annoying animated movie character:
DONKEY
vs.
JAR-JAR BINKS
Neither of those two are a quarter as annoying as the dog and baby from Son of the Mask or Scrappy Doo in any of his film incarnations. But lessee... Jar-Jar Binks inadvertently began the sequence of events that handed over the Republic to Palpatine, and Donkey is Eddie fuckin' Murphy. Victory to Donkey.
Pirates vs. Ninjas has been done to death, so let's use an alternative.
VIKINGS
vs.
LUMBERJACKS