Everyone's a critic and most people are DJs

[theattachment]

So I'll admit it: I'm a music elitist. I buy all my new music on vinyl, listen to bands from England who won't release their debut albums in the U.S. for another month (see my current obsession with The Pipettes) usually can explain the exact reasons your favorite band sucked from their first album, and am obsessed with Springsteen. From that, I've got a lot of unpopular opinions that, if shared, often result in attempts on my life.

Here's the intention of this thread. Everyone gets a paragraph where they can express an opinion about music that shows how much of an elitist they are. It will likely defame someone's favorite band. From there, no one can flame the person, question their sanity, or otherwise cause an application of Godwin's Law. You have your paragraph. That's it.

Here's the first one:

Led Zeppelin is unarguably the most overrated entity in the history of popular culture. If you consider the sum of their parts, you'll understand that Zep was simply a screamer who could only whine soft dynamics, a really sloppy guitarist with decent knowledge of scales, an unremarkable bassist, and a drummer that took way too many drugs, namely speed balanced with alcohol. Lyrically, they were second-rate imitators of underdeveloped Delta blues and whichever Occult philosopher caught their eyes the day before. Their only great success was as image manipulators, and even at that it seemed a little contrived. In my mind, a modern-day Led Zeppelin would likely consist of a kid who baked his way through music theory, an emo kid with a Lovecraft fetish, and a pair of street punks that just picked up instruments for the first time.

God, that felt good to get out...

[grapesmoker]

[Stained Diviner]

Homer Simpson is a brilliant man who has come up with many well-thought-out, practical ideas, and is insuring the financial future of this company. Oh, and his personal hygiene is beyond reproach.

[David Riley]

For the record, Louis XVI was executed in 1793, not 1848. That was Louis-Philippe, the "Citizen King". Mon Dieu!

[Stained Diviner]

Mr. Riley,
That is a reference to the college board, and it is quoted for lack of truth.

[grapesmoker]

For the record, Louis XVI was executed in 1793, not 1848. That was Louis-Philippe, the "Citizen King". Mon Dieu!

[The Time Keeper]

Jerry you didn't know that no wonder you suck at qb

[STPickrell]

I've never really liked the Rolling Stones.

[Tegan]

William Shatner is good music.

I think this says it all.


I only listen to music that was included on the Voyager golden album.

[STPickrell]

William Shatner is good music.

I think this says it all.

It says the truth.

[Skepticism and Animal Feed]

Since this thread seems destined for the Jose Offerman forum anyway, I might as well tell my story here.

Today I was taking a walk on campus and this guy who looks just like Chris Ray steps out of Harvard's Science Center. He looked at me and then used his hands to hide his face and ran away.

It was...curious.

And if you demand that I say something on topic, I'll say that Tupac is overrated. He tried too hard for his music to have a social message, and a lot of the time it just comes off as preachy and nauseating.

Also, Wikipedia tells me this interesting fact about Tupac:

Of his many fans, critics and also loving brotherins, most of them, actually about 68% consider him a good rapper and role model.

[bigtrain]

My favorite DJ is D.J. Tanner!

[BuzzerZen]

My favorite DJ is D.J. Tanner!

[STPickrell]

My favorite DJ is D.J. Tanner!

Evan, you appear to be speechless.