Annals of SCIENCE!

BuzzerZen · Post by **BuzzerZen** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:10 pm

I hereby decree that this document is now part of the quiz bowl canon. The 2009 NSC will take place at the Ice Wall.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:16 pm

TOM EGAN, TEAR THIS ICE WALL DOWN

Mettius Fufetius · Post by **Mettius Fufetius** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:12 am

Make sure you watch out for the Alice Cammel Spiders -- they are the size of cammels but have 8 legs and walk like a spiders.

Stained Diviner · Post by **Stained Diviner** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:03 am

Idiots. On the other side of the Ice Wall is another Ice Wall.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:38 am

Marchbanks wrote:Make sure you watch out for the Alice Cammel Spiders -- they are the size of cammels but have 8 legs and walk like a spiders.

I read that as Alice Camel Toes the first time...

rchschem · Post by **rchschem** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:27 am

Marchbanks wrote:Make sure you watch out for the Alice Cammel Spiders -- they are the size of cammels but have 8 legs and walk like a spiders.

And, apparently, as many as 12 humps.

So go, Alice, go.

No Sollositing On Premise · Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:55 am

a bunch of complete ninnyhammers wrote:The sun and moon, each 32 miles in diameter, circle Earth at a height of 3000 miles at its equator, located midway between the North Pole and the ice wall. Each functions similar to a "spotlight," with the sun radiating "hot light," the moon "cold light." As they are spotlights, they only give light out over a certain are which explains why some parts of the Earth are dark when others are light. Their apparent rising and setting are caused by optical illusions.

I love it.

grapesmoker · Post by **grapesmoker** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:17 pm

There's no way that site is not a joke. I refuse to believe that anyone could believe in a flat earth. On the other hand, people sure are dumb, so who knows.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:21 pm

grapesmoker wrote:There's no way that site is not a joke. I refuse to believe that anyone could believe in a flat earth. On the other hand, people sure are dumb, so who knows.

I believe that you are two-dimensional in the most literal sense. Prove me wrong, science boy.

grapesmoker · Post by **grapesmoker** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:23 pm

leftsaidfred wrote:
grapesmoker wrote:There's no way that site is not a joke. I refuse to believe that anyone could believe in a flat earth. On the other hand, people sure are dumb, so who knows.
I believe that you are two-dimensional in the most literal sense. Prove me wrong, science boy.

I mean, I know I'm probably taking what's clearly supposed to be a farce a little too seriously, but the problem is that with the advent of the Internet, I've become unable to distinguish clever farce from actual beliefs. It's like sometimes, you go to a site that looks like landoverbaptist and then you find out it's not a joke; a little bit of me dies inside.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:28 pm

grapesmoker wrote:
leftsaidfred wrote:
grapesmoker wrote:There's no way that site is not a joke. I refuse to believe that anyone could believe in a flat earth. On the other hand, people sure are dumb, so who knows.
I believe that you are two-dimensional in the most literal sense. Prove me wrong, science boy.
I mean, I know I'm probably taking what's clearly supposed to be a farce a little too seriously, but the problem is that with the advent of the Internet, I've become unable to distinguish clever farce from actual beliefs. It's like sometimes, you go to a site that looks like landoverbaptist and then you find out it's not a joke; a little bit of me dies inside.

True, too true. The best solution is to probably always treat it like a farce, as loudly as possible.

Just messing with you, Jerry.

The Time Keeper · Post by **The Time Keeper** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:28 pm

grapesmoker wrote:
leftsaidfred wrote:
grapesmoker wrote:There's no way that site is not a joke. I refuse to believe that anyone could believe in a flat earth. On the other hand, people sure are dumb, so who knows.
I believe that you are two-dimensional in the most literal sense. Prove me wrong, science boy.
I mean, I know I'm probably taking what's clearly supposed to be a farce a little too seriously, but the problem is that with the advent of the Internet, I've become unable to distinguish clever farce from actual beliefs. It's like sometimes, you go to a site that looks like landoverbaptist and then you find out it's not a joke; a little bit of me dies inside.

Website seriousness ambiguity is the main reason I stick to Coast to Coast AM for my "holy shit these people really believe these things!" enjoyment. A paranoid, meth-addled trucker's voice tells no lies.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:35 pm

Dolemite wrote:
grapesmoker wrote:
leftsaidfred wrote:
grapesmoker wrote:There's no way that site is not a joke. I refuse to believe that anyone could believe in a flat earth. On the other hand, people sure are dumb, so who knows.
I believe that you are two-dimensional in the most literal sense. Prove me wrong, science boy.
I mean, I know I'm probably taking what's clearly supposed to be a farce a little too seriously, but the problem is that with the advent of the Internet, I've become unable to distinguish clever farce from actual beliefs. It's like sometimes, you go to a site that looks like landoverbaptist and then you find out it's not a joke; a little bit of me dies inside.
Website seriousness ambiguity is the main reason I stick to Coast to Coast AM for my "holy shit these people really believe these things!" enjoyment. A paranoid, meth-addled trucker's voice tells no lies.

I need to find out if there's still a local station that carries that, but I'm definitely not going to search for that at work.

"Uh, Fred, we see here that you spent time on the Coast to Coast AM web site. We can't legally have a policy against employing absolute morons, but since it does impair one's performance..."

grapesmoker · Post by **grapesmoker** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:55 pm

I have to say, Coast-to-Coast is incredibly entertaining sometimes. All the time.

STPickrell · Post by **STPickrell** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 2:35 pm

The educated stupid do not seek the Cubic Wisdom. They believe the Lie of ONE.

Tegan · Post by **Tegan** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:05 pm

leftsaidfred wrote:TOM EGAN, TEAR THIS ICE WALL DOWN

I could do one ice wall, but Dr. Reinstein says there are two. Everyone knows that to take down both would allow all of our water to run off the Earth into the void. Why would I doom the world to that.

Though I have often wondered .... if the world is so flat, then why do we celebrate Columbus Day?

Oh yeah ...... the mafia! Never mind.

Nine-Tenths Ideas · Post by **Nine-Tenths Ideas** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:59 am

Q: "Why do you guys believe the Earth is flat?"

A: Well, it looks that way up close.

CASE. CLOSED.

Stained Diviner · Post by **Stained Diviner** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:24 am

Just admit it already: If you were dumber than a monkey, you would think the Earth was flat too.

First Chairman · Post by **First Chairman** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:40 am

Oh great... now we've insulted the intelligence of monkeys on this board. Don't we know that a thousand of them help to write and edit hundreds of qb questions every year at exploitative wages?

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:04 am

Will Run PACE for Reese's wrote:Oh great... now we've insulted the intelligence of monkeys on this board. Don't we know that a thousand of them help to write and edit hundreds of qb questions every year at exploitative wages?

I thought those were dwarves, who mined for questions.

Captain Sinico · Post by **Captain Sinico** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:08 pm

No, no, no! It's goblins and they only mine bonuses, because the tossups grow on trees and probably aren't present in the bonus mines.

MaS

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:52 pm

ImmaculateDeception wrote:No, no, no! It's goblins and they only mine bonuses, because the tossups grow on trees and probably aren't present in the bonus mines.

MaS

That was stupid of me. Thanks for the correction Mike.

the return of AHAN · Post by **the return of AHAN** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:53 pm

Q: "What is the motive behind this conspiracy?"

A: The motive is unknown although it is probably money.

No wonder I'm getting creamed in the market. My money's tied up in Round Earth companies!

Q: "What's underneath the Earth?" aka "What's on the bottom?" aka "What's on the other side?"

A: This is unknown. Some believe it to be just rocks, others believe the Earth rests on the back of four elephants and a turtle.

FOOLS! Even scientists in ancient Greece knew that the Earth rests on the back of a turtle, which rests on the back of another turtle, which was on another turtle, which was on another turtle, etc. Which, of course, is where we get our concept of infinity. Jeez, I could do so much better as President of the Flat Earth Society. For starters, I would marshall Reinstein to act as commander of the snowmoblie-riding, helicopter-flying, Ice Wall Defense Forces, and Egan would be in charge of intelligence services. Ernest Shackleton would've never returned if Reinstein & Egan had been in charge! They'd have finished the job!