The Worst Christmas Song Ain't What You Think

[AKKOLADE]

It's not Christmas Shoes, it's not Wonderful Christmas Time, it sure isn't Little Drummer Boy. It's this masterpiece.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DguvASL ... e=youtu.be

I considered putting this up as a mini-tournament, but you all would probably go with the brand name bad songs. And you'd be wrong. This is a ridiculously maudlin song with the worst story I've ever heard in a "story song" in my entire life.

[bretthogan43]

I think that you've dredged up what is the worst, as well as the most morbid, Christmas song that I've ever heard in my life. I don't even think "Dominick the Donkey" tops this one.

[Santa Claus]

My second favorite part of this song is when the music abruptly cuts to a different Christmas song and then cuts out entirely and there is nothing but beeping, which happens twice.


My favorite part is roughly 4:16 into the recording, when it's over.

[bluejay123]

talk about cacophony...

[Dantooine is Big!]

1 min in: This isn't THAT bad, I guess… Somewhat stupid…

1:30 in: ??????????????

2 mins in: I refuse to listen to this anymore

[Skepticism and Animal Feed]

I'm sure the song is awful (I haven't listened to it yet), but is it really culturally salient enough to even be considered? It doesn't even have its own Wikipedia article (though the album its on, which is titled after the song, does).

[El Salvadoreno]

That!Was!Horrible!

To Mr. Morlan- How did you find this "gem" of a "Christmas standard?"


To the three people who voted no- How do you even begin to justify such a vote!?!?!?!?!??!

[Habitat_Against_Humanity]

Please Daddy Don't get drunk this Christmas

[Auks Ran Ova]

What's wrong with you people? Christmas Shoes is way worse than this--this thing even has a happy ending!

[AKKOLADE]

I'm sure the song is awful (I haven't listened to it yet), but is it really culturally salient enough to even be considered? It doesn't even have its own Wikipedia article (though the album its on, which is titled after the song, does).

Wikipedia's got some work to do, is all I'm saying.

[Marble-faced Bristle Tyrant]

My life has been culturally enriched by getting exposed to this bad song.

[Jewish Pugilist]

I am pretty sure Christmas Shoes is also a bad movie with Rob Lowe (I think it may be based on the song, but not a 100% on that one)

[AKKOLADE]

I am pretty sure Christmas Shoes is also a bad movie with Rob Lowe (I think it may be based on the song, but not a 100% on that one)

It is based on the song.

[dhumphreys17]

Oh, c'mon. Everyone knows that the worst Christmas song is the oxymoronically titled Best Christmas Song Ever ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFLaUL8NG9Y ). Watch at your own risk.

[Aaron's Rod]

Okay, but have you guys even heard Owl City's Christmas song this year? Especially the second verse?

[merv1618]

I somehow managed to live 25 years unaware of Wonderful Christmastime's existence.